whentalkingisntenough

I lived a pretty good childhood
Considering the fact that i lived in one of the most dangerous city in the US
I rest my head in camden nj
My parents tried their best to keep me occupied but the streets were calling me
I had to explore
I got to see the good and bad of life

I remember one day i was walking home from school and I saw what looked like a body hanging from the dumpster.
Like a dummy i went to get a little closer to make sure my eyes were correct
Yea it was a man
The smell of blood damn near killed my nose
In his hand he held a needle....
Need I say more

I remember they shot in my house.
My mother was layin on the couch and I was in my room upstairs
Randomly somebody just started shooting

One time I was coming home with my mom aunt and cousin
As we open up the fron door I saw a red light
A cop possibly SWAT
Yea I think it was SWAT cause he had on so much stuff like not an actual police uniform
He had on a halmet
He told us to get down on the ground
I didnt know what was goin on!
When i got on the ground I could see into my neighboors yard and a man was hiding under a van.
I think he was hiding from the cops or SWAT
The man hiding started to move
And then he started running
All the cops started yelling
Red lights were everywhere
A gun that had a skinny extending burrow or something with a red light on it
I cant really explain it well cause I was only 12 when this happen but all I could remember was the red light

It makes me sick to my stomach to be immune to the sounds of guns
But I guess people cope with the unreal

I remember being about 10 years old
I went with my cousin to find his mom
When went into the old house
Which now i know was a crack house
It was the first time I seen base heads
Begging for more
Dying for just another hit
I think something in me died that day
Something along the lines of fear
We found his mom all cracked out
Man it was ugly
Her eyes were yellow
Lips purple with white shit on them
Man I think that shit scared the fear out of my ass
So when talking isnt enough then what...
Im talkin yall so is anybody listin?

Awomanwitharealsoul

I'm a woman
But honsetly I dont have a man
So what am i doing wrong?
Am I being to eager?
I mean im not perfect at all.
I have flaws just like the next girl.
But I try my best to stay on my grown woman
So what is a nice guys really looking for?
Long hair, big ass, and a brain full of shit?
I take pride in being intellectuall and go against what soicety feels is how i should act or look
Im not really a people pleaser so i guess that leaves much room for me to please myself
Its been a long road whith me and relationships and I have learned that its almost impossible to love someone else more than I love myself.
Cause Ive tried and its a quick way to kill your soul
I loved him so much i forgot what it was like to love myself
I didnt know my ass from a hole in the wall (lol)
Like i was really losing myself and only gaining him
This all ended in him leaving me
But i realized without him I was still here
Yea i felt empty inside but i soon was able to mend my broken heart and move the fuck on....well almost (lol im working on it)
But anyway
If i was giving him my all then why did he leave me?
I guess the problem was him not me right?
So should I give my all next time?
I mean whats the point of truly falling in love for someone and you cant give your all?
Im a person who puts 100% into everything
So why cant guys do the same?
Guys only want all the benifts and put in no work
Us women do all the caring, cooking, sexing, put up with the bs, want to but know damn well we can trust him, guys always wanna have their cake and eat it too! Im not male bashing just tired of the same old same old.
Who will break the mold and set a new path for males to follow?
Damn
Woman do a lot but we cant teach you guys how to be men
All woman want is a little bit of respect
Maybe some sweet words
Love
Just love us

Sold my soul

See I think I gave my soul to a man
Or maybe he was a boy
This creature was masculine
With a smile i died for
Died three times and came back for
Him
See he introduced me to life
Gave me something to wake up to every morning
He was the reason I could suddenly hear birds sing
And feel peace of mind
He was like music
Putting his needle to my record
He wasn't my hip-hop
But damn sure was my Neo Soul
Felt need to sow my seeds in his garden
So I can reap the manifestation of him
This man i feasted on daily keep me counting
Kept me counting the time we spent falling for each other
Kept me counting the time it took to walk to his house
Dammit he kept me counting the ways he could love me past a trillion by 2's 5's and 10's and he would still find numerous ways to love me
So i sold my soul
Gave him the greatest thing i ever owned
I gave him my soul